The Beppin Legacy

The history and future of a utopian marriage of Third Reich idealism and the wonderously vast tapestry of the animal kingdom.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

A Beppin Landmark Revitalised

There's been little to report of late as my work has been consumed by the revitalisation project of Beppin's National Monument, spearheaded by myself with the aid of Oberstgruppen-Führer Benedict G. Chicken. This task involved much hard work over a very long period, as I will describe momentarily.

In keeping Beppin fresh and on the cutting edge of design, we must endeavour to change the face of Beppin's landscape in ways that enhance and improve our nation, while still respecting the history of our great land. Such undertakings walk a very fine line and must adhere to the stringent policies of what is deemed worthy of investing our time and resources in.

This project, in the beginning, was almost abandoned simply on the basic logistics involved. You see, the Jacob's Ladder flowers used to dominate the Beppin National Monument are not exactly the easiest of species to procure. The Jacob's Ladder will only bloom when the ecosystem of our nation is completely perfect. Right down to the number of flowers, trees and even weeds that grow. On a national scale our Flora Division had to ensure every single hectare of Beppin was perfectly groomed and had the correct ratio of flowers to trees.

The largest issue this created was not that the meticulous work of the Flora Division had to do, but that it had to be done over such a long time. Indeed, not only must Beppin be flawless for the flower to sprout, but also the ecsystem can only support producing one single Jacob's Ladder a day... one a day.

Our plans began in earnest nearly two months ago, but the one thing we didn't plan for turned out to be our most tenacious opponent: the change of seasons. When this project began, the last days of summer were still dappled in the green hues that colour Beppin's fields and grasslands. Alas, autumn began and the greens dissolved into the rusty browns of a season that made keeping Beppin perfect a very hard undertaking. I don't know how many evenings were spent in the last two months with myself and Herr Benedict scanning the ground beneath us for the slightest change in texture to denote a hidden "pitfall" or unclaimed fossil. Many hours working very late into the night were eased by my enjoyment of Herr Benedict's company, even doing the most tedious work seems to be an exciting adventure when in the company of Beppin's favourite chicken.

The other issue faced with this project was the storage of the valuable flowers. We soon discovered having small Jacob's Ladder plantations just wasn't practical and made keeping track of the numbers grown very hard. After much discussion and brainstorming we discovered that the storage space in Baron Manor was going to be the only viable option for storing these flowers for any kind of long term arrangment. Of course this meant a bit of an impromptu spring cleaning of my personal storage but once these wondrous flowers started amassing I knew our goal was within reach.

And two months later, it is done. Finally, the work of many Beppians has literally bloomed into a celebration of our history and national identity. As I planted the final one this evening, I realised how impressive our final vision looked. All the planning and blueprints can never convey the sheer exuberant triumph of our new look National Monument.

I hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed creating it, and I hope it lives on forever as a testament to the ideals and spirit of all proud Beppians. Thank you everyone who aided us in this project and I personally hope that it instills even more pride in our nation.

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The New Beppin National Monument

(Please forgive Herr Benedict's absence from the above photo, but as he said "Who'll take the photograph then, my Führer?")

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

A Powerful New Ally

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"The Strength Of Beppin Is In Us All"

Allow me to introduce the brightest rising star in the Beppin SS: Hauptscharführer Lobo S. Wolf. He only recently moved to Beppin from Hamtown, but his presence and work have been exemplary in dedication and pure results.

Herr Benedict took special interest in Herr Lobo the day he arrived and informed me of this New Beppian's public spirited behaviour. No sooner had Herr Lobo unpacked his belongings had he begun taking part in daily Beppin Flower Patrols. These low key, but highly essential, squads set about ensuring the flora of Beppin is growing exactly where it should be. Indeed, it is technically a gardening outfit, but the Flora Division also has the power to punish those on the spot who are found wantonly moving or damaging our valued flowers.

Hauptscharführer Lobo S. Wolf immediately joined the Flora Division upon arrival and his dilligence and committment to ensuring the flowers of Beppin are exactly where they should be is, simply, astounding. Our flowers have never been so well tended, and it's made my watering work in the mornings take much less time away from my morning regimen.

There have been some victims of Herr Lobo's flower clenched fist however, as it would seem the perpetrators responsible for displacing them to begin with have all, semmingly, left Beppin's fair shores permanently. One way, or another. I didn't want to ask too many questions as I could tell from the wicked gleam in Herr Lobo's eyes that some things are best not fully known.

He has proven his value to Beppin tenfold over the last week and his work just becomes more and more impressive. With myself and Herr Benedict's guidance I do believe Hauptscharführer Lobo S. Wolf will be a mainstay of the Beppin SS for many months to come.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

2006 Acorn Festival: The Aftermath

Thankfully, the debacle that was The 2006 Acorn Festival has come to an end. An entire week of futile work is behind Beppin now, and in its wake many questions have been asked of the capacity and competency of Bürgermeister Tortimer F. Tortoise in his role as Beppin's mayor.

The Acorn Festival resulted in much dismay from Beppin's citizens, as well as disgruntlement from regular visitors to our shores whom were turned away at our gates, with little explanation. I've had some meetings with the upper echelons of Beepin's heirarchy this week and have found absoloutely zero justification for the rules and restrictions Herr Tortimer has exercised over the last week.

It has been brought into question his competency in his role of mayor, and also, displayed how his powers can be taken too far while the government's hands seem tied. It's not the first time this has happened, and at Herr Tortimer's age (which is very old, even for a tortoise) there are factors of mental and physical health that we must take into account. From the meetings I've been part of it has been decided that we as a governing body will adapt our constitution to limit the powers of the mayor to make a repeat of the Acorn Festival travesty the last of its kind.

The mayor's role will be limited to record keeping work in Beppin's Town Hall and special appearances on holdays, appearing as a governmental representative who's actual powers to be part of the decision making process will be very limited. This may seem harsh, but other Beppians had much more severe ideas, including banishment and exile for Herr Tortimer. Indeed at one meeting it became so heated that Herr Benedict began dialling Kapp'n's phone number to have him extradited immediately.

I do believe this is the best result for the situation. Herr Tortimer is a beloved member of Beppin's community and he is an institution of our country. He's long been a representative of Beppin's ideals practices, but we can't let the past over rule the present. We would be more than remiss to see a repeat of the Acorn Festival next month, but it would far too reactive to strip him of his office all together.

I'm hoping this is the last we'll see of such problems in Beppin, as I'm not enjoying explaining to all our regular visitors why they weren't allowed in. It did mean a week without that troublesome Redd Fox though, so theres always at least one small positive to take away from the experience.

Speaking of postive things, we had some wonderful news this week regarding the Dinosaurierabteilung. The newest member to sign up for this project is none other than Oberschütze Blathers M. Owl, yes the curator of Beppin's National Museum has raised his wing and committed his services for the duration.

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This is just the thing we need to top up our resources and gain some extra knowledge. Herr Blathers' experience in this kind of work is incredibly valuable and I think his presence on our team alone will bolster our research ten fold.

Welcome aboard Herr Blathers!

We'll be riding dinosaurs by Christmas!

Friday, October 13, 2006

A Cause For Concern

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This week has seen Bürgermeister Tortimer F. Tortoise hosting "The Acorn Festival" in what I can only see as an orgasm of poor planning and misguided ideals. This apparently annual festival has caused all manner of civil upheaval and has personally effected myself in a rather negative way.

I personally had no forewarning of this "festival" and wasn't part of the committee (if there was one) that set about it's implementation. Indeed, I'd say from the deplorable faults this "celebration" has wrought that there was no planning committee at all involved. Our country's holidays and celebrations are usually carefully planned affairs, maximising citizen involvement and with a genuinely apropriate theme to promote our proud Beppian ways.

Not since the travesty of "Flower Fest" earlier this year has an apparently well intended celebration caused so many problems with daily life in Beppin. Casting my mind back to Flower Fest, oh, what a terrible time. After carefully planning and planting flowers throughout Beppin, and taking in special attention to the cobblestone thoroughfares linking our land, Flower Fest turned into an open invitation for Beppians to uproot any flora they saw fit to be replanted in a random manner throughout the countryside.

I'm sure this was the work of some New Beppians who knew no better, but the cost of the this venture resulted in days upon days of work to set our nations prized flowers back to the place they were intended. Many hours were lost, and very little was gained through "Flower Fest" and I hope that next year (if it re-occurs) that all Beppians will think before they uproot the vibrant flowers that brighten our country.

Alas, back to our current predicament with the 2006 Acorn Festival. Afer discussing this matter with other senior members of Beppin's various governing bodies, I've found out that this is solely the work of Bürgermeister Tortimer F. Tortoise and he hasn't consulted anyone in any way, shape or form about this project. I must say that the first time I was notified of this festival I was more than surprised, and this goes tenfold for the first time I encountered Herr Tortimer (or Cornimer, as he apparently likes to be called) outside Beppin's Town Hall.

Quite what this personality of Cornimer attempts to convey is quite perplexing. His insatiable need for acorns sounds like a cry for help, from my perspective, and the disturbing mask he wears does little to set my mind at ease. The plan seems that he will reward acorn collection with a rare theme of furniture. Upon conferring with Herr Nook I've been informed that this "mush" furniture is not a part of any stock list available to Herr Nook, which makes these items even more suspicious in origin.

Aside from this I, as leader of Beppin, had two very susbtantial issues with Herr Tortimer's project. Firstly: Acorns. It seems almost insane to design a festival based around an object that is produced by only three (yes, three) trees in our entire country. Beppin is very well populated with pine, pear, apple, cherry and peach trees, their colourful fruit are plentiful, even in these rusty autumn days. To base a week long festival around a tree that is scarce, at best, in our land is not the work of a well balanced mind.

The other issue I have is that Herr Tortimer has instructed Brigadeführer Copper K. Dog to prohibit entry of any travellers or visitors to Beppin that aren't New Beppians. The regularly permitted traders and visitors to our shores have been sent away from our gates as part of this Acorn Festival. The reasoning for this, I find beyond comprehension, and given Herr Tortimer's recent Cronimer persona and apparent age, I believe our mayor is becoming a victim of senility in his golden years.

The Acorn Festival will be heavily investigated as aoon as it has finished, and I do believe the ramifications will be far reaching in coming public events in Beppin's future. I just hope Herr Tortimer is prepared to reap the consequences of the seeds he has sewn.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

A Very Special Day In Beppin

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Yes, its a very happy day in Beppin today with the celebration of Beppin's favourite son: Oberstgruppen-Führer Benedict G. Chicken's birthday. I received mail last week from Herr Frobert Z. Toad that Benedict's birthday was imminent, so I've been preparing much of this week to make it just that little bit more special.

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Upon arrival at his Beppin Foreshore estate, Herr Benedict was in very high spirits. It would appear he's been rightfully celebrating all day long and the rosie glow around his beak was very welcoming. I could barely get in through the door before he was wrapping his wings around me and playfully teasing where his present was. Herr Frobert was dancing about in a rather joyous manner and we both raised a glass to Herr Benedict's good health.

I said to the birthday chicken that I had a surprise for him, as well as the present he kept goading me for, and after I convinced him to close his eyes for more than a second, I produced a special birthday cake for his special day:

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Herr Benedict is notorious for his sweet tooth, so I knew he'd appreciate a lovely vanilla sponge cake with jam and cream between the layers, and lots of icing on top. As I was thinking of ideas for the cake I knew I'd have to tailor it to Benedict's passion of fossil collecting. Upon this unveiling Herr Benedict yelled "Unsere Ehre heisst Beppin!!" and immediately tried to mount the cake like it was a real dinosaur, much to our laughing mausement. He pulled up right in front of me, and winked and whispered: "Not just yet Herr Baron, eh? Not just yet." His new found passion for Beppin's Dinosaurierabteilung since his return has incresed our productivity in experiments tenfold, but as Herr Benedict knows, its patience and tenacity that will bring our dreams to reality.

After he blew out his candles and made a wish, we had a piece each and watched the sunset over the Beppin coastline. We were all quite merry by now and began singing old war songs and anthems from the old days. Our celebrations continued well past the suns dipping below the horizon and into the inky darkness of these chilly autumn evenings. As I refilled Herr Benedict's glass, for I'm not sure how many times, he sat upright and with much sobriety in his voice said:

"Now, how about that birthday present Baron."

I'd been holding on to a special item in my wardrobe at Baron Manor for quite awhile, thinking I'd find a good use for it, and as soon as I found out about this impending birthday, I knew I'd found a new home for it. What with Benedict's love of fossil's and the rarity and value of this piece, I thought it was only fitting.

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His elation and happiness were only surpassed by my own as Herr Benedict desperately ran about his house looking for a place to display his new fossil. It's heartwarming to see such unbridled, almost childlike, joy from a head officer of the Beppin SS. It brought a very contented smile to my face as I could see the special plans we'd made had resulted in an extra special birthday for Beppin's favourite son.

Our night went on, with more drinking, singing and reminiscing over past victories and losses and loves and dreams. Once the clock struck 11pm I knew I should be heading home to Baron Manor as I had to be up early for tomorrow's Acorn Festival work.

On my departure Herr Benedict wrapped this large powerful wings around me one last time, and thanked me for the best birthday he's had in a long, long time. I told him is was my pleasure and that we all need to step back and celebrate every so often and with his birthday so close to the time he returned to Beppin; it had to be that little bit extra special.

As I was leaving I looked him in the eye and told him he'd better stick around now, or theres going to be hell to pay, in the most serious tone I could muster. To which he replied:

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As I walked back home to Baron Manor, I had a smile on my face, a tear in my eye, and a glow in my heart. I feel almost guilty that I got such a wonderful present on someone elses birthday.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Back On Track

How wonderful it is to have Oberstgruppen-Führer Benedict G. Chicken amidst our ranks once again. The air seems sweeter, the flowers seem more vibrant, and the Beppin SS seem even more respected. Not that there's been any dissent or untowards attitudes directed at the Beppin SS in the past, but with such a revered and prolific leader like Herr Benedict back at the helm, the salutes and greetings from other Beppians seem just that little bit more enthusiastic.

I had an unscheduled meeting with Herr Benedict this evening, on these autumn days Beppin's flowers seem to need to be watered twice as much as before. It seems like an endless chore to water them daily, but the colour and vibrancy they bring to Beppin's autumn landscape more than makes up for the watering duties. Whilst giving the flowers along Beppin Foreshore a drink, Herr Benedict approached me in his usual energetic manner, and asked me something I'd been avoiding the subject of since his arrival: "How is the Dinosaurierabteilung coming along, Führer?"

It pained me to tell Herr Benedict that little had progressed in our project of creating a mounted Dinosaur Division for Beppin's military. Through our many, many, experiements of extracting the life force from Gyroids and manipulating it to reanimate fossilised dinosaur bones, we gleaned little useful results and from the many hundred of gyroids expended in the project there had still been no hard proof or theory that we could use. Indeed, in Herr Benedict's absence I'd grown tired of constantly destroying gyroids and dinosaur fossils day in, day out, and had put the project on the back burner for the forseeable future.

I told Herr Benedict that, in all honesty, without our shared passion for the Dinosaurierabteilung Project the job became too overwhelming, and with the sensitive nature of the experiments, I made my work more clandestine, only sharing it with those I believe could truly offer valued input. The project was just too big for one man and other Beppian's just didn't share the passion that we both fed off of.

The scowl on Herr Benedict's face froze, then melted into an understanding smile. He paused to take this in, at which point I said that I'd even been selling fossils off to Herr Nook in order to make some more room in Beppin Labs, as the work had just been piling up. This struck a nerve with Herr Benedict, I saw that gleam in his eyes, and that smile creep across his beak:

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Of course he was right. Our Dino Solution is as grand a plan as there ever was, and it is indeed a noble and romantic endeavour. True enough, fortune and glory for Beppin await us. Such tremendously powerful words struck chords deep within me. The chicken before me, being such an inspiration, that I wanted to immediately take to the fields of Beppin with my shovel to unearth some new ingredients for our work.

It is genuinely incredible how powerful an individual can be. I've often had Beppian's praise me, their leader, which is always greatly appreciated, but I now know what they see, as that energy and inspiration is just what Herr Benedict brings to my life in Beppin.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Autumn Comes To Beppin

It would seem that fate has been smiling upon me of late. As the green days of summer dissolve into the rusty shades of autumn, I feel contented once again. This past summer in Beppin has been incredibly active and successful in fleshing out the natural history wings of the Beppin National Museum. I'm sure Oberschütze Blathers M. Owl will be glad to see the busiest time of the year, in regards to insect collection, behind him and will no doubt enjoy handling less of Beppin's insects as we embark on the cooler months of the year.

It won't be long now before the first snows will be arriving at Beppin's gate, and our fertile lands will be covered with snow for the duration of winter. The sight of which always bring back fond memories of Christmases spent in the old land when this Baron was much younger in age and heart. Snowfilled days of play with warm spicy sweets to look forward to after those homemade soups and stews that mother always seemed to get just right. Ah, yes, those memories were a long time ago now, with most of my family departed of this earth, its the festive season that I spend with my beloved citizens that are now my love and my family.

But I do get ahead of myself. It is only the beginning of October afterall, but as I've beared witness to for much of this year: time gets away more and more quickly. Whilst walking the cobblestone streets of Beppin tonight I noticed some special flowers I'd planted many, many months ago. I'd not realised how long ago it was until today and the idea put me in quite a sombre mood. These once highly prized orange roses had now become just another flowering bush in Beppin's rich flower gardens, adjacent to Beppin Heads. Its odd how some things once so special lose their importance over time, yet others increase more and more.

Once upon a time breeding hybrid flowers was a mark of success, and each treated like the Gold Roses I always wished they would be, but our focus changes. For me it was the friendship of certain Beppians who became incredibly active and passionate in their work... of course I speak of Oberstgruppen-Führer Benedict G. Chicken here, as for many months he was in every possible way my right hand man. The month or two without the presence of such prolific poultry amongst Beppin's citizens has seen a slowing down of sorts, a shift in projects, and working with new perspectives that New Beppian's bring with them when they move here.

As mentioned previously, Gruppenführer Rodeo C. Bull moved away from our fair shores a few days ago, and I eagerly awaited who would be moving in. For a day there was no one, and to be honest, by the following day I'd moved onto more pressing items of business. It wasn't until the following morning when I discovered a new house had been constructed over night. More jarring was that this New Beppian's house was built on the spot of Herr Benedicts own home, which brought to mind many mixed emotions. But I knew I had to let Herr Benedict go, and perhaps this New Beppian's house being built on his previous site would eventually take my mind off his absence. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling the emptiness in walking by a vacant lot once occupied by a highly valued citizen of your country.

After pausing, I knocked and entered the house of Beppin's newest resident, and was greeted by an almost tearful old friend who's outstretched wings and quivering beak spoke more than words ever could:

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The feelings are very, very mutual, Herr Benedict.

Welcome back my dear friend, welcome back.