The Beppin Legacy

The history and future of a utopian marriage of Third Reich idealism and the wonderously vast tapestry of the animal kingdom.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

All Things Come To Those Who Wait: Benedict Confesses

Yes, it's finally happened. All my investigations regarding Herr Benedict G. Chicken have come to a conclusion that is punctuated by his own statements and admissions.The arduous task of investigating one of my closest friends has come to an end and, ironically, it wasn't through using secret channels of surveillance, or traditional spying techniques that achieved results. No. All this information has come directly from Herr Benedict, and it all came out in casual conversation with the chicken himself on Beppin's foreshore this evening.

What follows is exactly what transpired this evening, but be prepared. The confession is certainly not what you (or indeed I) may expect.

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After some of the usual conversation regarding Herr Benedict's appetite around dinner time, his expression changed. His usually bubbly manner made way for the statement made in the photograph above. He suddenly became solemn and reserved. I prompted him no further and instead I waited for him to continue the conversation.

This was one of the longest pauses I've ever experienced in a conversation. I think because I got the sense theat so much of the future of Beppin was going to hinge on the rest of this conversation I'd give Herr Benedict time to think and go through this in his own time. So that he didn't feel any pressure or prejudgemental questioning from myself.

Herr Benedict began rather quietly. His tone was very introspective, almost talking to himself like I wasn't there. He started talking about some incredible information he had been privy to. Information that he thoroughly believed was in the best interests of Beppin. He repeated often, everything he does he does for Beppin. "Sieg für Beppin, Sieg für Beppin" over and over. It seemed that it was only this afternoon Herr Benedict realised how serious the situation was that he was in when he was discussing some Beppin SS matters with Bürgermeister Tortimer F. Tortoise.

Herr Tortimer broached the subject with him, and told him how this investigation I was conducting was indeed to find evidence to link him to Herr Rocco's disappearance. This was compounded with the knowledge that Herr Benedict had assumed I had deduced his secret project and knew what he was up to. Finding out that I had no idea of this, apparently chilled him to the core.

Up until this point Herr Benedict confessed to me that he was, in all honesty, not taking any of the previous information I'd confronted him with at all seriously, and even more so, thought on more than one occassion that he was giving me information based on his current ultra secret project. One must remember that Herr Benedict is quite a humourous individual. He is constantly making light of situations, and this trait had carried over into the investigations I'd been conducting.

As Herr Benedict's loyalty or personal integrity were never, ever brought question, and that he'd recently received the Beppin Cross, he was in fact playing along for laughs. The thought of him murdering Herr Rocco was such a ludicrous idea, that Herr Benedict thought he'd play along initially. He'd assumed he was being set up for some practical joke, and thought he'd stay two moves ahead.

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When he said this, he was almost pleading with me to see things from his perspective. To see the real Benedict, and not the murderer that I'd been looking for, but the chicken I'd grown to respect, a true Beppian who's humour was only exceeded by his dedication to Beppin's future glory. I had been guilty of forgetting this. In my fervour to get to the bottom of this issue, I had not taken his perspective. I'd taken the perspective of the person who needed a result that made sense based on the perceived facts he was presented. Perceived. Its amazing how we can misinterpret things or see them from a subjective angle when we are forced to deal with issues of such magnitude. It was I that was guilty of this.

Herr Benedict could see the look on my face had changed, he realised that I now understood this. A smile crept across his beak. But there were so many unanswered questions. I asked him to tell me everything and to keep to the facts. He breathed deeply and began.

Avid readers of this document will remember the Third Reich plans I'd come into ownership of recently. The plans for Dinosaurierabteilung. A division of dinosaurs to use in the fields of battle. I had kept these plans very secret, I wanted to conduct secret experiments first, to get up to speed with the necessary work and skills involved in this project before I took the idea to Beppin's military.

But, unknown to myself, Herr Benedict had obtained contributing information on this subject that came from the same sources, but was being distributed through different networks. Networks that Herr Benedict had been securing in secrecy for a very long time in order to get this information.

The reason he had kept this a secret from me was because the idea seemed so fantastic and unreal, that he wasn't sure if it was a genuinely feasible project. So, he began conducting his own tests and experiments to find out whether this idea was worth persuing with the Beppin military. Just as I'd done.

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Herr Benedict's information was a second part of my own documents. A continuation of some other ideas that were evidently scrapped. This information contained crucial methods and ingredients needed for dinosaur regeneration. This crucial information was something that had caused much of the problems in my investigation due to my misinterpretation. This information can be summarised in one word: gyroids.

The secret documents Herr Benedict obtained stated that the life essence of gyroids can be used as an ingredient to regenerating fossils back into living and breathing dinosaurs. These mini-wonders of nature contain a base life force and DNA that can be tranferred to these fossils with surprising results.

This revelation alone was incredible, as it filled in many pieces missing from my own Dinosaurierabteilung documents, but it also explained an awful lot about Herr Benedict's recent behaviour, and how this was misinterpreted by myself. Firstly, the blood stained shirt and shovel I'd encountered him with the night after Herr Rocco's disappearance.

The truth behind this was that Herr Benedict had been digging for gyroids most of the day and had conducted some of his own experiments on them, which had lead to some "casualties" in the name of science. The rather brutal nature of extracting the life essence from gyroids isn't an easy process and getting their blood spattered on one's self is a common, if gruesome, side effect.

When I had said to him that I thought he was a murderer, Herr Benedict had assumed I knew what he was up to, and due to his experiments in gyroids, he thought it was a humourous observation on my behalf commenting on his "murdering" of them in his experiments. His focus on his work excavating fossils and gyroids was so obvious,that he had assumed I was onto him, and was just toying with him. It didn't cross his mind that this was in regards to the disappearnce of Herr Rocco until his discussion with Bürgermeister Tortimer F. Tortoise this afternoon.

Everything can be explained. All the evidence I had on Herr Benedict can be disproved with his rock solid alibies on these experiments he's been conducting. He even brought it up that he was surprised I didn't comment on his fossil dominated new decor (as noted recently in a comment by Non Stop Ive) as he thought that was a huge giveaway as to what he was actually up to.

All evidence I was basing my investigations on were quashed, he even had corroborating evidence from Herr Roald regarding his whereabouts and activities the night Herr Rocco disappeared. It was all put in perspective, to a point that I felt embarassed that I even jumped to this conclusion.

Herr Benedict has risen to his place in the upper echelons of Beppin's elite through his dilligence and dedication to the ideals of Beppin. Although misinterpreted, based on what I was presented with, I believe I was righteous in my investigations. My lack of seeing thing's from Herr Benedict's true perspective was my undoing. I can, without, question, say the Herr Benedict is innocent of any wrong doing to Herr Rocco in this affair.

But the question still remains: What happened to Herr Rocco L. Hippopotamus?


At 9:05 PM, Blogger Hamstermemnon said...

I am sorry, but that all sounds a bit trite to me, I think he has fabricated an alibi he knew you would accept
be wary


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