The Beppin Legacy

The history and future of a utopian marriage of Third Reich idealism and the wonderously vast tapestry of the animal kingdom.

Friday, July 21, 2006

A Dark Day For Beppin

Due to the proud, utopian model of our nation, when something is amiss, or askew, it stands out quite markedly from the usually placid and ideal goings-on of daily Beppin life. Thus begins an independent investigation I'm conducting to find out if indeed theres something rotten in Beppin. The thing that concerns me most is that it concerns Beppin's newest hero: Oberstgruppen-F├╝hrer Benedict G. Chicken.

Yes, I know, surely I've gotten my wires crossed somewhere as it couldn't possibly be the recently Beppin Cross decorated SS hero Herr Benedict G. Chicken. I didn't want to believe it myself.. but one can not dismiss evidence that seems all too incriminating. It is my duty to investigate this issue, but I will do it on my own for the present time due to Herr Benedict's high rank in the Beppin SS.

The first chapter of this story began on Wednesday morning. The feelings of something unsettling arrived with the morning's post. No sooner had Unterfeldwebel Pete B. Pelican delivered my morning mail, than this dark tale began. There was one solitary letter that fateful day. One lone letter, without a present attached (never a good sign on the best of days, but I digress). Upon quickly scanning this letter I was shocked to read that New Beppian Rocco L. Hippopotamus had decided to move away from Beppin to an undisclosed destination overnight. Not only this but the tone of the letter was incredibly derogatory to Beppin in a most disappointing manner.

I've no issue with individuals moving on from Beppin and having strong opinions about our country when they haven't fitted in to our way of life, but what soured this situation was the previously very publicly displayed love of Beppin from Herr Rocco. Two weeks ago Herr Rocco was nominated (by more than one Beppian) for the Beppin Cross, although new to our country, Herr Rocco was one of those new residents that just fitted so well into Beppin's way of life. This complete change in character and attitude to his new country, and overnight no less, left me feeling rather confused, and a little suspicious.

There seemed to be too many factors that remained unanswered, or were out of character for Herr Rocco. This had me rather perplexed, and talking to all other citizens who knew him well netted me zero information. Letters to his neighbours went unanswered and Brigadef├╝hrer Copper K. Dog reported no questionable activity at the nation's gates the previous evening. Things started shifting to more of a concern from this evidence, but the most shocking developments were yet to come.

During my usual insect hunt this evening I came across Herr Benedict. He was in a happy mood and was whistling as he walked along the promenade to Beppin's beachfront. I'd not seen much of Herr Benedict since his Beppin Cross presentation and parade, but had just assumed he was busy doing appearances in other parts of the country, as are the duties and responsibilities of a new recipient of the award. But as I approached Herr Benedict I couldn't help but notice something different about him, his uneasiness when I greeted him spoke volumes...

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The keener observers reading this will have noticed Herr Benedict's clothing isn't exactly in the pristine condition it usually is. In fact, one could even say its very dirty. But not with dirt unfortunately... but with blood. Yes, if one is to base an opinion purely on what is presented, one would say that Herr Benedict's clothing is rather heavily bloodstained. Now, the next piece of evidence I'd like to direct your attention to is what Herr Benedict is holding in his right wing. Indeed, it is a shovel. A shovel one could use to bury evidence of an act that resulted in an uneasy tone in ones speech, and also resulted in heavily staining one's clothes with copious amounts of blood.

Based on this evidence, I was instantly concerned. Had Herr Benedict murdered Herr Rocco? What would cause this? What went on unbeknownst to myself about their realtionship? Many questions flooded into my mind. To see this freshly decorated hero of Beppin stammering his way through a conversation whilst carrying a shovel and wearing heavly bloodstained clothes was just something I was not prepared for during my evening walk. As the conversation continued, however, something else came up, that was even more disturbing,...

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Indeed, another development I wasn't prepared for. Such a flagrantly overt statement was initially beyond my comprehension and I had to make a hasty departure back to my private residence to reflect upon what I had been presented with today. Was I missing something obvious? Am I assuming far too much? What other explanations could there be for Herr Benedict's conversation? Was all that was left of Rocco marked by an X shaped plot of broken soil in some remote part of Beppin, waiting to be unearthed on the next fossil hunt? Such questions have been plaguing me constantly this evening, but the one that keeps recurring in my mind is "Why?". If these events have in fact happened, what was the reasoning behind it from Herr Benedict?

I have known Herr Benedict for many years, and count him as one of the closest genuine friends I have in our country. This action, as it stands today, is not the action of the chicken I know. No, this terrible event is something that must be investigated further. For now I will focus my attention on this more pressing issue, and put my dinosaur division plans on the back burner until I get to the bottom of this grisly and disturbing affair. Of course I will document my findings here accordingly.


At 9:30 PM, Blogger Dr Hamhock MD said...

Blimey, Who'd have thought?

Beppin's rotting from within?

Sounds like it has a single maggot, sporting a beak and a shit-eating-grin.

I wonder if he put sarin in my letter?

At 10:40 PM, Blogger Hamstermemnon said...

hmmm, sounds like you may need to keep a close eye on benedict, for a while atleast, as he is obviously not as he appears, it may be something as simple as a sleepwalking incident.
but then again he may not be the chicken you know, but really a stool pigeon put in his place.


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