The Beppin Legacy

The history and future of a utopian marriage of Third Reich idealism and the wonderously vast tapestry of the animal kingdom.

Monday, July 03, 2006

The Gypsies.... its always the gypsies

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Every monday, without fail. Every monday. Beppin gets a visitor. An unwelcome visitor. A visitor who peddles their filthy illgotten wares brazenly in front of
Beppin's illustrious Town Hall. I've had a bone to pick with Redd Fox for quite a while now, and he simply isn't getting the message. As clearly evidenced in the image above taken this afternoon, he is not welcome. For someone like myself, it dosen't bother me too much on his asking prices for some of his items, and it sometimes makes me laugh at what he prices his baubles for, but I've had far to many letters from Beppians complaining of his constant stream of fake paintings. I can tolerate outside traders who will offer items that Herr Nook won't stock, but I will not stand for art forgeries being sold as the genuine article.

One too many times I've cautiously bought a painting off this Fox character and proudly presented it to Oberschütze Blathers M. Owl only to find it is indeed a forgery. This kind of vile practice must be stopped. I called an emergency meeting with Oberstgruppen-Führer Benedict G. Chicken this evening and it has been decided that further, stronger, action must be taken. If this Redd character won't pay attention to our signs, then we will be forced into making this a priority of the Beppin SS.

This will be a three pronged strategy. Firstly, all Beppians will be contacted by Beppin Post mail to report any activity or contact with Redd Fox (or any of the many "cousins" he seems to have). Our citizens will be obliged to report all information regarding Redd to their representative of the Beppin SS immediately.

Secondly, Brigadeführer Copper K. Dog will tighten security at Beppin's gates. All too often he has left the gate in the charge of the frankly incompetent Schütze Booker E. Dog, who has let more than a few questionable visitors through in the past. All visitors must present all relevant documentation and vertification of their identity before being allowed admittance. Additionally no visas will be issued for a stay longer than 24 hours, unless the individual is moving in permanently.

Thirdly, Beppin will cease trading with outside countries who's interests and values are not the same. Beppin's primary retailer, Herr Nook, will have to record and verify all items sold to every citizen. Each person will have access to this record and if called upon, Herr Nook must be able to reorder said item to prove its authenticity and origin. The Beppin SS has power invested in its members to investigate to the fullest extent of the law any trading done in Beppin that can not have its legitimacy proved conclusively.

These actions must be taken unfortunately. Its paintings today, but it could be Regal or even Cabana furniture tomorrow. The government of Beppin will not let this occur, and I for one will not allow for a situation where the HRA take away points on our decors due to owning "furniture of suspect origin". I, as a leader, will not stand for this and will take all measures possible to keep fraudulent or imitation furniture off the streets and out of the houses of Beppin, once and for all!

2 Comments:

At 1:37 AM, Blogger Dr Hamhock MD said...

Good Work Baron,

I'm surprised that damn fox hasn't been through your bins and pulled chicken carcases onto your doorstep, shitting on your rose-bed in the process. Pest.

Keep-up this most important civic record.

 
At 4:39 AM, Blogger Neo_Kitty said...

Your truth is stranger than my fiction. Very nice work.

 

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