The Beppin Legacy

The history and future of a utopian marriage of Third Reich idealism and the wonderously vast tapestry of the animal kingdom.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

A Penguin In The Ointment

It was a lovely day today in Beppin. The sun was shining through our tree lined cobbled thoroughfares and I noticed something quite peaceful and contented in the behaviour of our residents. A noticible absentee in my travels today was Coco. Now, Coco's been a special resident as I believe she may hold the missing link between the gyroid research I've been conducting. As this is a rather sensitive subject (based on the previously mentioned methods employed) I've been easing Frau Coco very slowly into the idea of getting involved. This has been a hard job as most Beppian's are well aware of what goes on in the Beppin Science Labs, but don't share Herr Coco's "pedigree", therefore all our citizens have been informed to keep the more unpleasant details of our research hush-hush.

All Beppian's have been very supportive of this and have made Frau Coco feel very welcome in our country and kept our gyroid experiment details on a need to know basis. Most unfortunately, it would seem that someone in Beppin has upset Frau Coco, possibly with these sensitive details, and I entered her house tonight to see all her belongings packed up in boxes and a rather nervous and tense Frau Coco pacing up and down her now bare living room.

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As documented above, I couldn't get the details of her departure out of her, but her tone and body language spoke volumes. I've seen others act the same way when their lives have been endangered and it instantly made me wonder what had caused this very quick change in Frau Coco's behaviour. Based on the evidence I've collected, it would seem I've discovered the source of this problem, and that problem is Frau Friga I. Penguin.

I had my suspicions about Frau Friga when she moved back to Beppin earlier this week. Or so I thought. Frau Friga was a model Beppian a few months ago, and moved away a while back. I was never 100% sure where she had moved to, but I trusted she knew what was best for her and assumed that she would one day come back to Beppin when she was ready.

Upon Frau Friga's return early this week, I noticed there were some changes about her. Nothing too extraordinary, mainly some changes to her wardrobe and she picked up some new elements to her conversation, which was to be expected. But Frau Friga began to behave differently too, it was the small things that I picked up on first. Her conversation topics, and also the way she kept to herself in public.

The old Friga was a very social penguin, always chatting to other Beppian's and keeping abreast of the latest gossip. The new Frau Friga seemed to go to great lengths to not socialise with other Beppians. On many occassions this week I've seen her completely change the direction she was walking in in order to avoid social contact with her fellow countrymen. The only other Beppian I've ever seen Frau Friga spend any time with, since she moved back, was with Frau Coco, who just happens to be her neighbour as well.

This just didn't sit right,.. at all. I've never been one to act on suspicions but since this revelation involving Coco has surfaced, I'm almost certain Frau Friga is the cause of what has made her decide Beppin is no longer a safe place for her to live. This also begs the question as to what motives Frau Friga has for these actions. It wouldn't be unrealistic to think that Beppin's enemies could have sent spies in to monitor our progress on the Dinosaurierabteilung, as such a powerful military force could definitely cause concern for our Beppin's detractors.

It also suggests that perhaps Frau Friga is not actually the same penguin who once lived in Beppin. As fantastical as it may sound, in this day and age the lengths to which spies will go to achieve their goals makes cosmetically changing their appearance to look like someone else rather commonplace. Which means at least two possibilities for this situation. One, that Frau Friga has been employed by her new host country as a spy to see the downfall of Beppin by bringing down its military complex from within. Or two, that this is indeed not the Frau Friga I knew at all and is running an unknown but definitely malicious agenda against Beppin and is looking to wreak untold damage on our country.

I've informed the Beppin SS and Frau Friga is under 24 hour personal surveillance by Sturmbannführer Drake T. Duck in order to monitor what her next plans may entail. For the moment I think I've convinced Frau Coco to stay in Beppin, and I hope I can dispel some of the worry she currently has... providing she hasn't been completely brainwashed by this diabolical penguin already.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Farewell Herr Benedict, Good Riddance Frau Monique, Welcome Herr Drake

Time waits for no man and nothing's been truer this past week in Beppin. The most pertinent issue that has occurred is the leaving of Oberstgruppen-Führer Benedict G. Chicken from our fair shores. Yes, this year's Beppin Cross winner has moved on and despite my endeavours to convince Herr Brewster to install a 24 hour buffet, as per Benedict's request, this was not enough to keep him here. Wherever he goes he shall take Beppin with him, and although he has left, his mark has been indelibly left on the minds and hearts of all Beppians.

This event wasn't something that surprised me, a lot our work on the Dinosaurierabteilung has been gruelling and taxing, allowing little time for anything else. Herr Benedict is a free spirit and I guess he just got one low HRA score too many to keep on being active in our project. He was always so proud of his interior design, it's no surprise that he had to move on the allow this part of his personality to flourish without the responibilities of being Oberstgruppen-Führer of the Beppin SS. It is sad to see my friend leave, but this has happened before, and he has returned. I think this is more a personal sabbatical for Herr Benedict and look forward to the day he comes back to Beppin, whenever that may be.

After this departure Beppin was subject to an unsavoury character moving in. How they got past Beppin's stringent immigration rules, I have no idea, but the arrival of Frau Monique L. Cat was instantly a salacious and amoral affair.

I'd heard stories about Frau Monique's "loose" morals via our communications network's with other countries. Her voracious appetites of questionable taste were the stuff of many limericks and dirty jokes. Upon meeting this feline fatale she wasted no time in alluding to many of the "services" she provided. The innapropriate manner of this suggestion disgusted me and from this point I steered well clear of her. Then I noticed certain patterns emerging.

First, there was a conversation I had with Herr Cyrano the next day, where he asked me if I thought Frau Monique and Herr Camofrog were more than "just friends". This took on a decidedly sordid angle when chatting to Herr Jitters R. Bird the next day when he asked me if I thought Frau Monique and Herr Frobert were more than "just friends". It sickened me to think what this new Beppian was doing throughout the country. An even more shocking event occurred a few days later when I discovered a very sick Herr Frobert who was recently of excellent health and fitness,... before he had had social "engagements" with Frau Monique.

It was obvious that Frau Monique was practicing all manner of lewd conduct with other Beppians and using her feminine charms to spread her influence throughout the country. The final straw occurred when Frau Coco fell ill the day after I noticed her spending an extended amount of time with Frau Monique in public (and who knows how long behind closed doors) the previous day. Beppin has much tolerance for relationships that aren't exactly traditional, but when there is infection and irresponsible spreading of disease involved, it requires swift and decisive action to be taken.

This was the perfect chance for new Beppin SS Sturmbannführer Drake T. Duck to put into practice some of the skills he's been learning in our training sessions. Herr Drake has been another quiet achiever who lets his duty and honour displayed in his work speak for itself. Aside from some passing comments from a very impressed Obergruppenführer Cyrano F. Anteater, I had heard little about Herr Drake's achievments until recently. He's a powerful figure now and his reputation is well known throughout the country. Indeed, the loss of Herr Benedict proved less severe with such young, strong and dedicated Beppian in Herr Drake coming through the ranks.

For one of his first special assignments I decided it would be Herr Drake's job to rid Beppin of Frau Monique L. Cat via any means he deemed necessary. He too believed she was a threat to the values and ideals that Beppian's hold true and promised me the job would be done before nightfall. Now, I have no real need to know the fine details of the inner workings of the Beppin SS's methods, but I do know they can be very convincing and persuasive when they need to be. Sure enough the next morning Frau Monique (and her house) weren't anywhere to be seen and her presence in Beppin has been removed completely. I noticed an extra broad smile on Sturmbannführer Drake T. Duck's bill that morning, and I gave him an appreciative nod and smile for his work.

After such successful work, I thought it as good a time as any to see if Herr Drake would take an interest in working with myself on the Dinosaurierabteilung project. He was unsure at first, but I invited him over to the science wing of Baron Manor last night to further explain the plans to him. Upon my illustrating the need to extract the life force from gyroids to be used in the regeneration process for the fossils, Herr Drake asked how this was achieved. When I told him it involved a rather visceral and messy combination of electricty and a siphon he was less than impressed...

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However, upon showing him my small successes so far and sharing Herr Benedict's results with him, he took on a new interest in this mission of ours. I saw a gleam in his eye that lit up the room. I could see his imagination had just realised how powerful and mighty a mounted Dinosaur Division would be for Beppin's military. I could see a smile creep across his bill that was the same smile I'd seen on Herr Benedict's beak when we began this assignment.

I could also see that the future for Beppin's Dinosaurierabteilung was bright with myself and Herr Drake at working on it together; a new chapter begins.

Sieg für Beppin!!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Time Out

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There's been an absence of reports of late, which was unplanned, but is nonetheless unavoidable. Last wednesday strange and disturbing things began happening to the machine I use to document the Beppin Legacy. This became a major issue, and new machinery had to ordered via Herr Nook to replace it. This took time unfortunately, and meant I really had little connection to the world outside of Beppin for quite a while.

I took it upon myself to capitalise on this time and make it a "time out" of sorts. I stood back and did some introspective reflection, something I'd not done for quite some time. The pressures on my work in Beppin can seem all consuming at times. It's often needed to pull away from one's work and appreciate what you really have.

For instance, during this little hiatus Frau Purrl O. Cat decided she needed to move away from Beppin. Now, usually, I'd ask my more prolific Beppians who decide to do this to reevaluate their decision before taking action. This time I didn't. Frau Purrl has always been a model Beppian and her orientation and support of recent arrivals such as Frau Rosie and Herr Frobert have made for exemplary displays of her skills in diplomacy and her own personality.

Things change though. Who's to say why Frau Purrl decided to move, but I must grant her the respect and trust that her reasons are as valid as anyone elses. I'd be lying if I said I won't miss her, but allowing her to move on and exeperience all life has to offer is something no one should be denied. It's this stepping back, and looking at the large picture, instead of the small picture (of which one of Frau Purrl sits in Baron Manor). We are too often caught up in details and intricacies that, often, are a futile cause.

Now I've had my new communications machine set up, courtesy of Herr Nook, I can get back to my routine of documenting my work. The time away has shown me that the world dosen't end if you aren't around. It keeps on going.

The main thing to remember is to appreciate what we have when we have it and enjoy the moment. I'll be reporting new developments on the Dinosaurierabteilung and other Beppincentric issues imminently and shall be resuming regular service as of today.

The flowers in Beppin seem more colourful tonight, and Herr Brewster's special blend tastes even better than usual, this old Baron's smiling a lot tonight, and is looking forward to what tomorrow will bring.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Expired Gyroids For Sale, Job Lot: Going Cheap!

In order to dispose of the gyroids myself and Herr Benedict are using in our experiments, we've had to work on different methods, and it's becoming a problem.
The amount of gyroids we go through has already filled up Beppin's Recycling Station in our town hall, much to the chagrin of Frau Phyllis Z. Pelican; who made it her own personal business to inform us that the Recycling Station isn't designed for such heavy use.

We've had to come up with some opther ideas because of this. I'll be damned if I let this project fail simply because of insufficient resources to cope with our byproduct waste. My latest ideas involve copious amounts of fire, courtesy of some items procured from Bürgermeister Tortimer F. Tortoise during this past weekend's fireworks display.

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If nothing else, it certainly was a lot of fun!

This increase in gyroid consumption is in no small part due to my recent acquiring of a Siphon via Herr Nook's retail establishment. This small, but valuable, piece of machinery has made extracting the gyroid's lifeforce a much quicker, and far less messy, procedure. What once took an afternoon to extract is now done in a few quick pumps of this ingenious little device. But, solving one problem creates another.

I really don't wish for Beppin's vast fields and forests to be dumpng grounds for gyroid corpses,.. I'm sure it'd ruin my "perfect town" status as well and need every Jacob's Ladder I can produce for the floral display at the Golden Gates Of Beppin. So this is obviously not an option, and other methods need to be looked into, before this minor issue becomes a major one.

I tried leaving some expired gyroids on Beppin's foreshore so that the sea could take them into her vast, dark and cold, embrace on the next tide. Lest they still remained exactly where I had left them the following morning. Immunity to the powers of the tide seem to be another of their surprising natural innate abilities. It would seem every idea I have is as quickly disproved as it is enacted when dealing with these creatures.

I'd be remiss to think these problems will sort themselves out on their own. This issue really could pose a threat to the perfection of Beppin. Perhaps there will be ways to enlist the services of loyal Beppian's in their disposal. Indeed, they never cease to amaze me with their ideas and ingenuity.

Well, I'd best get back to my experiments, and I need to check in with Herr Benedict before he retires this evening to see what ideas he's come up with.

Sunday, August 13, 2006


There are many legends in our lands. Folklore, tales that go back before time was recorded. These are told from generation to generation and often get more and more entertainingly embellished with each retelling. It's these stories that form the basis of many superstitions that seem to be very, very powerful.

I've been told one since I was wee Baron. One of scary monsters, monsters of great power. Monsters who are now very, very real. The legend I speak of was about a race of creatures of untold power. They were hybrids of two type living creatures: gyroids and animals. These creature's had no names, they roamed the woodlands and forests of our continent. Wreaking havoc when threatened by channelling their natural elemental power of their base animal and the gyroid element they were formed with.

These creatures were blamed for many acts of terror and destruction, the truth of which is rather uncertain. It was the vehemence of their powers that has withstood the tests of time, all the legends had this common theme. One is told that if one hears the same story from multiples of different sources then it indeed may be based in truth. I for one have heard many, many legends based on these creatures over the course of my life, and based on the current knowledge I've acquired in my experiments with Beppin's gyroids, I'd be a fool to think a hybrid animal/gyroid being wouldn't be of a creature of untold power.

Which brings us to Coco. I had first encountered Frau Coco in Nut City, a few months ago. Her visage shocked me through to my bones upon seeing this godless monstrosity. At this stage I'd not yet begun the plans for Beppin's Dinosaurierabteilung and it's appearance brought to mind those childhood nightmares caused by reading too many fairy tales before bedtime. Casual introductions were all I could deal with before I made a hasty exit from her admittedly nicely furnished abode.

I've always been a firm believer in things happening for a reason. The decisions and events that shape our lives are often obvious and if something is supposed to happen, then things will fall into place to make it a reality. It's been a creed of mine for many years and rings true very often. We can make things happen if we just recognise what it is we need to make our dreams reality.

I could say it was a coincidence that Coco moved to Beppin, but I see far too many other circumstances and events that have happened along this path to simply write it off to chance. No. This was meant to happen. Frau Coco is quite possibly the missing link in much of the data the Third Reich couldn't acquire during their forays into dinosaur regeneration.

Exciting as this is, I feel I must take very small steps in including Frau Coco in our plans. I can definitely assure you that this new Beppian will be receiving some special treatment from Beppin's Baron, but I do hope this will be reciprocal in the long run.

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Things seem to be off to a good start however. A Lab Wall present from Frau Coco this evening... a sign of things to come?

Everything happens for a reason...

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Fireworks: In The Sky, And On The Land

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These saturday nights in August are such spectacles to enjoy. With the chiming of Beppin's clocktower at 7pm comes the sparkling majesty of the fireworks display. This also provides and excuse for me to take Sturmeagle to the air again and enjoy the spectacle from up on high. It's a guilty pleasure, but the smiles on the faces of all Beppians lets me know everyone else is enjoying it as much as I am (for an archival image of myself and Sturmeagle, click here).

After my dogfights through the fireworks and I had Sturmeagle safely landed and back in her wing of the Beppin National Museum, I had my usual evening constitutional walk around Beppin's cobblestone thoroughfares. It was such a glorious evening, I took my time and was easily distracted by Beppian's wanting to have a casual chat with their leader.

As I approached the shopping precinct, I noticed a new arrival had set up their house. At this point I'd like to step back a few days. Although I haven't documented it previously, this week saw the departure of Frau Marina A. Octopus from our fair land to unknown regions. Frau Marina was a wonderful Beppian, a true embodiment of our spirit and ideals.

Whenever I think of Frau Marina, I remember a time, months ago, when she approached me on Beppin's Foreshore. She'd grown tired of her catchphrase, which was at that time "Blurp". After careful consideration I suggested "Sieg Heil!" as a victorious salute to the glory of our nation.

When I offered this, she paused and reflected for a second, and then said the words that will stay forever as my memory of Frau Marina: "Sieg Heil? Sieg Heil! I feel like a new person - no, I feel like who I should be." These words echoed through my very soul. She had distilled into one statement what Beppin is all about. My smile didn't subside that day, such a personal link to one's country was something I wish for all Beppians to feel.

From that day on I knew, regardless of where her life led her, Frau Marina was the essence of Beppin and I knew I'd never regret her leaving Beppin if she decided to as she'd proven what an increidbly strong link she had with her country. Wherever she would go; I knew she'd take Beppin with her.

And this week she did, with little fuss, Frau Marina moved away. I do miss her, but I have the comfort of the picture of her smiling face on display in Beppin's Hall of Remembrance in Baron Manor. A comfort that always brings a smile to my face, and warms my heart every time I behold it. A lasting memory, that will be eternally remembered. Farewell Frau Marina, may you prosper in your newly adopted home, wherever that may be.

Which brings me back to this evening. As I made my way through Beppin's shopping precinct I noticed that there was suddenly a house on the land where Frau Marina had lived. This open space that I was just getting accustomed to seeing vacant was no longer. After I realised a new Beppian must have just moved in, I checked the name plate on the house.

It read: "Coco's House".

(this post will be continued tomorrow after I regain enough composure to continue)

Friday, August 11, 2006

The Gyroid Factor

Now that the Dino Solution has been enacted, the merest hint of rain brings about excitement around Beppin. For it is the rain the brings the gyroids to the surface of Beppin's fertile top soil. Walking through Beppin today, there were so many smiling faces and excited citizens, all knowing that rain today means gyroids tomorrow. On ther science front, myself and Herr Benedict are plodding along with our experiments in gyroid/fossil combinations. We're very confident of creating a formula that will designate gyroids to fossils for successful regeneration. We can almost feel it within our grasp. It won't be long now.

A new resident to Beppin, Herr Jitters R. Bird, has been a small concern of late. His demeanour and character, although overtly normal, seems to betray an underlying skepticism and distrust of Beppin's operation, and the Beppin SS.

Herr Jitters keeps to himself and dosen't venture far from his home, which is situated far from most Beppians. His nearest neighbour being Schütze Cyrano F. Anteater informs me Herr Jitters is displaying the behavioural traits of those afflicted with paranoia and general disharmony with one's environment. Herr Cyrano reports that he believes further action towards Herr Jitter's need be investigated.

I took this upon myself, I think it's an accurate display of how much we value our citizens if the country's most highly appointed representative can deal with personal matters of our citizens on a "one on one" basis. Casual conversation revealed little insight. However, I visited Herr Jitter'sd residence this evening and discovered something rather disappointing.

It would appear that Herr Jitters is hoarding gyroids for his own personal decor. His flagrant disregard of the Dino Solution is very disheartening to me and I think we as a country need to take another step up in our initiative. As a compliment to the instructions set out in the Dino Solution, we will spearhead a secondary initiative, targetting those who disobey these new regulations:

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As of this weekend, spot checks at random Beppian's houses will be performed by the Beppin SS to ensure that gyroids are not being kept for use as personal decor. The Dino Solution requires complete commitment from all Beppians. Failure to do this will mean alerting all other Beppian's of their disservice by being marked with the above symbol.

As the text says: "He who has this symbol is an enemy of Beppin". This symbol will be used to show other Beppian's who isn't supporting their country. The Beppin SS will handle this initiative, and I hope it will convince those hoarding gyroids for their own HRA scores to think twice, and do what is right for Beppin.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

The Dino Solution

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The last few days have been rather eventful in the glorious land of Beppin. Not the least of which has been a country wide intitiative formulated by myself, Bürgermeister Tortimer F. Tortoise and the Beppin SS. A new decree has been intiated. A decree from now on to be known as The Dino Solution.

In order to collect the necessary amount of life force from the land's gyroids to resurrect a full Dinosaurierabteilung, we must take action at a national level. Beppin must make it a priority to collect these gyroids, as is the burden of every citizen, and then transport them to our science laboratory for use. The Dino Solution will allow every citizen to take an active and valuable role in the creation of our formidable Dinosaurierabteilung and will make the entire process much more effective.

From this point on gyroids will become a national resource that must be only used for the honour of Beppin. Those found harbouring gyroids, or using them for purposes other than those in described in the Dino Solution will be punished to the full extent of the powers of the Beppin SS.

It's been decided that this action must be taken, as the more myself and Herr Benedict experiment, the more gyroids we use up. The combinations of gyroids and fossils is very large, and filtering off breeds of gyroid will eventually make this process as streamlined as possible. We are constantly in need of more however, and this policy must be enforced to ensure the results we need are attainable.

The Dino Solution's details have been sent off via BeppinPost to all citizens of Beppin. Everyone will recieve this special notice in their mail tomorrow and from then on are expected to follow its instructions to the letter. Of course there will be punishment for those not willing to partake in the Dino Solution, but I firmly believe the citizens of Beppin will embrace this new directive with open arms.

Never before has the value of each individual citizen been so great. Indeed, it is the work of the individual that will aid their country in a way that was previously impossible. Through the Dino Solution Beppin will be strengthened, and through our strength we will be able to show the world our honour, tradition and ideology.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

The New Look Beppin Science Lab

After quite a bit of work this weekend, I have successfully converted the first floor hall of Baron Manor into the Beppin Science Laboratory. It's been a good opportunity to clean out some furniture I'd been hoarding, for little real purpose, and reorganise my wardrobe storage, which has been long overdue.

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Beppin Science Laboratory Eastern Division

The Eastern Division of the Lab (pictured above) is primarily for research and theory work. This area contains easy access to most of my notes and necessary documentation. Storage wise, this area contains my newly acquired medicine chest (thank you Non-Stop) and a storage cabinet for quick access to stored fossils and other ingredients. I keep a sample of Amber here for constant monitoring and testing, along with a florence flask that is often used in some of the formula creation necessary for the ressurrection processes.

My recently purchased drum of flammable liquid and fire extinguisher (just in case things get out of hand) are also visible, along with an electrified bench that I plan on using in further gyroid experiments. Possibly combined with the flammable liquid. This new space gives me a lot more room to move around and I can quite comfortably study up on my documentation while experiments are conducted in the Western Division of Beppin Labs, pictured below.

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Beppin Science Laboratory Western Division

Most importantly, this extra amount of space has allowed for much more room for gyroid placement and testing. The amount of gyroids I can use has also increased, which will allow for much more consitency in the testing. A new computer courtesy of Herr Nook, allows me to record all results without having to be far from the project, allowing for instant data input and recall when time is short. My voltulator and electric chair fit very nicely into the top left corner of this area, which will make the life force extraction from the gyroids a substantially easier process.

I've begun some preliminary work on the Ankylosaurus specimen pictured, not a great deal, but attempting to sort out some of the logisitics regarding the gyroids needed for this dinosaur's resurrection. Indeed, the resurrection process is highly reliant on the types of gyroids used and it would seem there is some, as yet, unknown equation that will decide the type of gyroid to use with certain breeds of dinosaur.

This is something the Third Reich failed at, and is one of the main reasons plans were abandoned. But the Third Reich didn't have Baron Von Beppin and Oberstgruppen-Führer Benedict G. Chicken working on the project! I'm sure we can work it out, even if we need to employ some outside consultancy, I do believe we'll have our Dinosaurierabteilung up and running in no time.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Problems Arise, Solutions Devised

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As reported in yesterday's findings, Beppin's Dinosaurierabteilung project is in full swing. The main issue we're faced with now is making sure that all parts of the dinosaur fossil to be resurrected are present, a theory proven by my less than positive results yesterday.

I managed to procure an Apatosaurus skull for Herr Benedict this afternoon, this was the final piece he required to complete this specimen. He is now one step ahead of me as I realised I'm still missing pieces from all of my fossils collected thus far while rummaging through my wardrobe this afternoon. This could prove a small setback as using complete specimens will take time, but if this is the biggest problem we encounter then I'll think ourselves very lucky.

Its not until one begins these sorts of experiments that a myriad of new unforseen problems arise. Aside from the fossil completeion theory, there is also issues regarding gyroids. Namely, how do we dispose of these once they've been "used". It has come to my attention that if we are to create a legion of dinosaurs, based on the instructions so far, we would require literally thousands of gyroids for the resurrection process.

So not only the supply of these creatures comes into question, but also how they will be disposed of afterwards. I'm sure more issues will arise the further we develop this project, but I'm positive that through our great teamwork and dedication we can overcome any obstacles we come across.

Another problem that I'm working on this weekend is space for these experiments. The northern wing of Baron Manor has already proven much too small to conduct the procedures required. Which means the open plan first floor hall must be converted from its current state into a large laboratory. Quite a big undertaking that will require much use of my wardrobe storage, and possibly quite a few visits to Herr Nook's to dispose of some items I've no longer use for.

I'll also need to order some new equipment in to make the processes a bit easier. Firstly a computer is needed. Although the instructions were written in a time long before the age of computers and the internet, I think its very important to have one on hand to record results as well as to formulate streamlining procedures. I think I'll also order a drum of highly flammable material and a fire extinguisher, I'd like to test out my own theories and experiments on some expired gyroids. Perhaps burning them is a solution to dealing with their disposal.

The aformentioned problems aside, its full steam ahead for the creation of our Dinosaurierabteilung. I just had a quick chat to Herr Benedict and his enthusiasm for it is rather inectious. I'd best get along now and continue my furniture juggling and gyroid experiments. Wish me luck! Heil Beppin!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Project Dinosaurierabteilung Begins

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Now that things are settling back down in Beppin with foes vanquished and mysteries solved, I thought it was time to get back to my next big initiative for Beppin; the Dinosaurierabteilung. Now I can focus my energy of the dinosaur division for Beppin's military and get our first solid experiments underway. Now that our steering committees for this project have summised our roles and duties in this project, it was left to myself and Oberstgruppen-Führer Benedict to start putting into practise the information we've been studying.

I, personally, have been collecting gyorids and fossils in preparation and have managed to get a reasonably sizeable collection up. It's nowhere near the size of the Beppin National Museum, but it is a respectable amount of specimens from many of the dinosaur breeds. Upon further inspection of our museum, it became very apparent to me of how diverse and varied these ancients behemoths were. Although our initial plans are just to reanimate these creatures, once this has been achieved it will then start the process of deciding exactly which breeds of dinosaur shall be bred and the role the shall play in our military based on their strengths and abilities.

Alas, its much to soon to concern ourselves with this refinement process when we're just beginning our experiments at the most basic of levels. Indeed, there are still so many questions to be asked and answered in regards to this project that we must ensure we take this one step at a time to avoid the errors made by Herr Hitler's scientists.

A few weeks back I decided to develop the most northern wing of Baron Manor into a laboratory. I'd been collecting the necessary furniture for about 3 months and came to the conclusion that I had enough pieces to conduct experiments of many different disciplines in my own home. Now that our focus is on the Dinosaurierabteilung my ready made laboratory became the obvious place to start our experiments.

Going off the documents both I and Herr Benedict had procured, I started with the basics. According to our information this intitial stage is called The Arranging. Indeed by it's name alone it's rather obvious what it entails. A special order must be set whereby every element of the dinosaur must have multiple gyroids "arranged" next to it. The proximity must be close, and the dinosaur fossils must be placed in their physiological order. The details from here get less specific. Without divulging too much information, I can say there are numerous other "ingredients" to be included, such as electricity and certain chemical solutions.

I began my first trial of this process with a Tyrannosaurus Rex. I figured why not start at the top end of the food chain, and work backwards from there. The ferocity and power of the T-Rex is well documented, making their breed and obvious candidate for Dinosaurierabteilung. My initial results with this current arrangement have been less than positive, however.

I've set the specimen up as documented in the Third Reich's plans, and I've set my machinery up accordingly, but the only results I've achieved so far are warmed fossils and very agitated gyroids. If you thought the noises they created were annoying at their usual levels, you should hear what they sound like after umpteen thousand volts of electricity have been running through them for an extended period.

The shrill and almost scream-like sounds that eminate from these creatures forced me to leave Baron Manor whilst they recieved their prescribed dosage of current. It was all I could do to have a hunt around for some of August's new insects to clear my mind of their incessant and tortured wailing.

Upon my return little had changed, apart from my aforementioned results. I went back to the drawing board to try and work out where to go next. Then it hit me. Like a bolt of electricity ripping through a gyroid. As the more attentive readers will have noticed, my T-Rex specimen is actually missing its torso section. How on earth was I to expect a living breathing dinosaur to arise from its fossilised condition when it's missing the section of it's body that contains vital organs necessary for life?

I cursed my ineptitude as I removed the current array of gyroids from the experiment and contacted Herr Benedict with my results. Indeed, he had just discovered the same thing after attemtpting to resurrect and Apatosuarus without have its skull present. We both had a laugh over our mistakes and from there we decided to prevent the needless waste of gyroids until we can use them on fully complete fossils of our dinosaurs intended for resurrection.

Although our experiments are just beginning, we are learning the basics of resurrection technology. Our loss of a days worth of gyroids wasn't too great, and if anything it proved that the all the essential parts of a dinosaurs skeleton MUST be present before the other steps in the process are enacted.

Looking back I can see the futility of attempting to reanimate a dinosaur that is missing its torso, but it's all a part of the learning process. I expect to achieve more tomorrow as I will be working on specimens that I have the complete skeleton of.Even though I should be tired and in need of sleep, my mind is constantly sparking at the thought of what experiments I'll be able to conduct tomorrow.

Such excitement is a welcome change from the worry that has been in my thoughts most nights previous to this one in recent times. I feel like a child awaiting Father Christmas to arrive, imagining what wonders will await me tomorrow.

I just hope theres some fresh gyroids buried around Beppin tomorrow to bring back to the Baron Manor laboratory.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Victory Through Tenacity

My strategic war against the evil Todesstinger finally concluded with a resounding victory for Beppin this evening. For the last week I've been on the frontlines in a personal battle with this diabolical creature. Night after night, quietly negotiating my way through Beppin's flower beds, scanning for movement, waiting patiently behind tree trunks and pouncing at the first sign of movement. Net held tensely in hand, swinging with vehemence and righteousness. Yes, it was a battle hard fought.

This isn't to say the victory was without casualties. I have been personally injured by this creation of nightmare pure almost nightly. For all my care and planning it still managed to get the best of me and sank its poisonous barb deep into my flesh. My body bears many scars of war and conflict, but these newest injuries are the first I've had inflicted by a creature of more than two legs. Countless flowers also fell victim to my mighty net, a terrible consequence of friendly fire.

Tonight, like the last few nights, began with the terror of seeing the sun disappear and knowing that the Todesstinger was about to begin its nightly reign of terror just as it had the night before. The darkness brings the fear, the once brightly lit Beppin streets take on an air of sinister shadows and one begins to see things that aren't really there.

I then realised that I had some unfinished business in Baron Manor and had to move some furniture in the science lab and museum wings and make room in storage. As a consequence of having my pockets rather full from moving so many pieces of furniture I decided to remove the usual tools I carry about town in front of my house, to free up some space. As I was placing my Golden Watering Can down, I noticed an odd shape in the flowers that line the eastern wall of the Manor.

I knew this shadow. I'd seen it before. I'd seen it many times before. Its shape was scorched onto my brain. The shape of terror was the elongated shape of Todesstinger itself. For once in our many battles, it seemed I had the upperhand, for as I placed my watering can down and quckly readied my net, I realised that this creature of the night had not yet seen me. It was oblivious to my presence. I had to capitalise on this instantly as I knew I only had seconds to make my move until it became aware of my intentions and rushed me with its venomous stinger.

The closer I crept towards it, the more confident I felt. My net felt like an extensions of my arms and with every step I knew I was getting closer and closer to victory. I could sense it. It was a feeling I'd exeprienced often dogfighting in Sturmadler high in the skies above during the war. My focus was strong. My vision clear, and my muscles tense.

Then Todesstinger noticed me. In one movement it turned to face me and charged with its poison glistening thorn of death aimed directly for my chest. But it was too late. As its raced towards me, my net of righteous justice slammed down around it with a thud that echoed throughout all of Beppin. For a long second there was a silence. A second that seemed to last forever. Then I realised I had captured it. I had it trapped in my net, and I had beaten Todesstinger once and for all in this bloody war.

I decided that this specimen of evil should be displayed for all to see. To stand as a testament to tenactiy of Beppin. The never say die spirit that runs deeply in the hearts of all Beppians. Where better to display this symbol of victory of good over evil than the Beppin National Museum. After carefully handing Todesstinger over to a visibly shaken Oberschütze Blathers M. Owl, the evil that has plagued Beppin was relegated to its own place to live in captivity for the rest of its days.

As a memento of the occassion Herr Benedict took the photograph below. A reminder of power of Beppin's spirit and how it can triumph over even the most fearsome of enemies.

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To celebrate this monumental achievement in keeping Beppin safe, myself and some members of the Beppin SS will be having a drink, in honour of the occassion, and I wish for all of my readers to raise a glass and toast our victory and the end of a brutal and hard fought battle:

Sieg für Beppin!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

A New Initiative For Promoting National Identity

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As leader of Beppin one of my roles is to promote our nation throughout other lands, near and far, to spread our ideologies and promote what we have to offer. To spearhead this I've developed a promotional tool that I hope will make our presence all the more prominent to those living in other nations.

Through co-operative work with BeppinPost, we have developed the first official and nationally sanctioned Beppin Postcard. A vehicle through which Beppin's wonderful natural and man made geographical attractions can be publicised to those looking to emigrate or visit. I highly value the view of Beppin by inhabitants of other countries and believe this new initiative will be of great beneifit to our international image and create avenues for greater trade and new citizens to Beppin.

Personally, I've always loved receiving postcards from acquaintances when they've gone on holidays to exotic and faraway lands. The creation of a Beppin postcard offers the opportunity not only for those passing through Beppin to send it back to their native lands, but also for Beppians to send to their friends in other nations as well. I'd like to think our postcard brings together some of our country's more impressive features that will inspire other individuals to come and see what Beppin has to offer.

The hardest part of developing this initiative was deciding what locations to include on the comparatively small space available. Indeed I spent many hours photographing our countries more prominent features and even more hours deciding what was to be the final six images to appear. After much deliberation and consultation I made my final decisions and am rather happy with the results.

I think the images presented represent the many sides of Beppin's culture and heritage. From our national monument in honour of the thrid reich to the glorious natural beauty of Beppin Heads, we've encapsulated the essence of our wonderous country as well as possible for the postcard format.

I do hope this initiative succeeeds in promoting Beppin to those far flung nations the world over that have not heard of our quest for utopian lifestyle and the ideals we live by. Please promote the Official Beppin Postcard whereever you see fit, dear readers. Beppin began as an idea that has evolved to a properous nation and from here, who knows where. If you wish to spread the word of Beppin, please do so.

Please click on the link under the "Links" section at the top right of this page to get your own full size Official Beppin Postcard and print/send/email them wherever you think the Beppin ideology needs to be heard.