The Beppin Legacy

The history and future of a utopian marriage of Third Reich idealism and the wonderously vast tapestry of the animal kingdom.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Farewell Herr Benedict, Good Riddance Frau Monique, Welcome Herr Drake

Time waits for no man and nothing's been truer this past week in Beppin. The most pertinent issue that has occurred is the leaving of Oberstgruppen-Führer Benedict G. Chicken from our fair shores. Yes, this year's Beppin Cross winner has moved on and despite my endeavours to convince Herr Brewster to install a 24 hour buffet, as per Benedict's request, this was not enough to keep him here. Wherever he goes he shall take Beppin with him, and although he has left, his mark has been indelibly left on the minds and hearts of all Beppians.

This event wasn't something that surprised me, a lot our work on the Dinosaurierabteilung has been gruelling and taxing, allowing little time for anything else. Herr Benedict is a free spirit and I guess he just got one low HRA score too many to keep on being active in our project. He was always so proud of his interior design, it's no surprise that he had to move on the allow this part of his personality to flourish without the responibilities of being Oberstgruppen-Führer of the Beppin SS. It is sad to see my friend leave, but this has happened before, and he has returned. I think this is more a personal sabbatical for Herr Benedict and look forward to the day he comes back to Beppin, whenever that may be.

After this departure Beppin was subject to an unsavoury character moving in. How they got past Beppin's stringent immigration rules, I have no idea, but the arrival of Frau Monique L. Cat was instantly a salacious and amoral affair.

I'd heard stories about Frau Monique's "loose" morals via our communications network's with other countries. Her voracious appetites of questionable taste were the stuff of many limericks and dirty jokes. Upon meeting this feline fatale she wasted no time in alluding to many of the "services" she provided. The innapropriate manner of this suggestion disgusted me and from this point I steered well clear of her. Then I noticed certain patterns emerging.

First, there was a conversation I had with Herr Cyrano the next day, where he asked me if I thought Frau Monique and Herr Camofrog were more than "just friends". This took on a decidedly sordid angle when chatting to Herr Jitters R. Bird the next day when he asked me if I thought Frau Monique and Herr Frobert were more than "just friends". It sickened me to think what this new Beppian was doing throughout the country. An even more shocking event occurred a few days later when I discovered a very sick Herr Frobert who was recently of excellent health and fitness,... before he had had social "engagements" with Frau Monique.

It was obvious that Frau Monique was practicing all manner of lewd conduct with other Beppians and using her feminine charms to spread her influence throughout the country. The final straw occurred when Frau Coco fell ill the day after I noticed her spending an extended amount of time with Frau Monique in public (and who knows how long behind closed doors) the previous day. Beppin has much tolerance for relationships that aren't exactly traditional, but when there is infection and irresponsible spreading of disease involved, it requires swift and decisive action to be taken.

This was the perfect chance for new Beppin SS Sturmbannführer Drake T. Duck to put into practice some of the skills he's been learning in our training sessions. Herr Drake has been another quiet achiever who lets his duty and honour displayed in his work speak for itself. Aside from some passing comments from a very impressed Obergruppenführer Cyrano F. Anteater, I had heard little about Herr Drake's achievments until recently. He's a powerful figure now and his reputation is well known throughout the country. Indeed, the loss of Herr Benedict proved less severe with such young, strong and dedicated Beppian in Herr Drake coming through the ranks.

For one of his first special assignments I decided it would be Herr Drake's job to rid Beppin of Frau Monique L. Cat via any means he deemed necessary. He too believed she was a threat to the values and ideals that Beppian's hold true and promised me the job would be done before nightfall. Now, I have no real need to know the fine details of the inner workings of the Beppin SS's methods, but I do know they can be very convincing and persuasive when they need to be. Sure enough the next morning Frau Monique (and her house) weren't anywhere to be seen and her presence in Beppin has been removed completely. I noticed an extra broad smile on Sturmbannführer Drake T. Duck's bill that morning, and I gave him an appreciative nod and smile for his work.

After such successful work, I thought it as good a time as any to see if Herr Drake would take an interest in working with myself on the Dinosaurierabteilung project. He was unsure at first, but I invited him over to the science wing of Baron Manor last night to further explain the plans to him. Upon my illustrating the need to extract the life force from gyroids to be used in the regeneration process for the fossils, Herr Drake asked how this was achieved. When I told him it involved a rather visceral and messy combination of electricty and a siphon he was less than impressed...

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However, upon showing him my small successes so far and sharing Herr Benedict's results with him, he took on a new interest in this mission of ours. I saw a gleam in his eye that lit up the room. I could see his imagination had just realised how powerful and mighty a mounted Dinosaur Division would be for Beppin's military. I could see a smile creep across his bill that was the same smile I'd seen on Herr Benedict's beak when we began this assignment.

I could also see that the future for Beppin's Dinosaurierabteilung was bright with myself and Herr Drake at working on it together; a new chapter begins.



Sieg für Beppin!!

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